Showing posts with label 5. Fridays: Funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5. Fridays: Funnies. Show all posts

Friday, July 8, 2016

Home Repairs the Single Way

"Stay calm," I told myself. I was a little uncomfortable, but nothing hurt. Luckily I'd fallen on my bed, flat on my back, arms spread out. I could have snapped my fingers to summon the butler--if I had a butler. Next best thing--snap at the kids, but they were all at school.
Elmer, AKA Useless

Elmer, one of my cats came in, jumped on the bed, stepped over my face, stepped up onto the large and heavy mirror I was under, laid down and started to purr. I was pinned by a mirror with a cat on top.

Kind of like a fly under a flyswatter, except I wasn't smashed. I wished I was smashed, but I wasn't; it was just another day of widow-meets-home-decorating-challenges.

Score: MIRROR - 1
WIDOW - 0

I'm mirror-free now. I wriggled out from under the thing before the kids got home. What are your most embarrassing home repair stories? If you haven't had any yet, then click the link below and to start the DIY and build yourself some LOL memories!

Home Repairs That Shouldn't Require A Handyman
Here's a quick overview:
1. Toilet Tweaks: You and I could do these! Plus you wouldn't have to subject yourself to plumber cracks (yay!)
2. Replace a broken light switch: If you know how to find and turn off the circuit breaker, you can do this too. Consider buying the circuit tester they mention, they're really great for finding live wires too.
3. Tuck-pointing: Honestly? I wouldn't try it because cement is known to dry before I'm done.
4. Installing a dimmer switch: see #2.
5. Replacing a broken floor tile: Really? Renting all those power tools too? Just put a throw rug over it.
6. Patching a concrete crack: see #3
7. Replacing a faucet: this looks do-able!
8. Installing a ceiling fan: NOT unless you have the upper body strength, have a spotter, and don't get dizzy on ladders
9. Removing a stripped or broken screw: maybe
10. Repairing your gutters and downspouts: If you're comfortable on a ladder this could save you from a lot of water damage and $$$$ repairs. But--- consider if it's worth falling off a ladder for.

I'd love to hear your tips, tricks and most embarrassing home repair moments.
ferree

Friday, May 27, 2016

Friday Funny: Don't Forget the Cat When Spring Cleaning

Dear Readers,
I used to blog 6 days a week but since I began working as a school librarian last September that's been impossible. Now I only bug you two or three times a week and my friend Cathy has been missing my "Friday funnies," so I thought I'd pull out this old one. She can try it at home on her cat named "Micah." lol, I'm sure he'll never be the same after this sort of "bath."  ferree



How to Bathe A Cat
  1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
  2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet. Lift both lids.
  3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any body parts too close to the edge, as his claws will be reaching out for anything they can find.
  5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which is quite effective.
  6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no innocent children between the toilet and the outside.
  7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
  8. The newly-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
    Sincerely,
A Dog


I love cats, but this rings true and gave me a laugh. Especially "rocket out of the toilet." I hope this brings a smile to your face and brightens your day. Here at the WCP blog we not only cry together, we laugh and share some good times too.
ferree

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ruthhb/

Friday, August 21, 2015

Friday Fun: The Stuff Kids Say!

It's Friday, thank goodness! --time for a grin about the things kids say.

My first two friends in South Carolina were Ben, age 2 and Alli, age 4. They made me feel so at home!

Ben called me "Mrs. Party," instead of Mrs. Hardy; and Alli decided my name Ferree was just too complicated, so she'd yell, "Hey, Ms. Ree!" from across the street. I'm glad she didn't call me "Miz-er-y" because that would have been pretty close to how homesick I was before I met her.

Please comment today and add your cute kid stuff too, OK? I'd love to hear from you, and your story just might 
be a bit of grief relief  another person needs today...
 
Here are some I've gotten in the past, but buckle your seat belts because you might fall off your chair laughing....
 
A Naughty Mom
My daughter was about 4 and was rather annoyed with me for telling her No about something or other. She looked up at me with a scowl on her cute face, put her little hands on her hips, and said with a very serious voice, "You know, Mom, I'm not very happy with you right now." It was all I could do not to break out laughing.
 
A Mortified Mom
This happened when I was in my early 20's when I was in the grocery store. I'm quite tall and a mom with two little kids were in front of me. The kids looked up at me and started to get all excited. They pointed at me and said to their Mom. "Mom! Look, it's a GIANT!". The Mom was clearly embarrassed and told her kids to turn around. They didn't and they kept saying "..but Mom, look, it's a real giant!" I just stood there smiling. The Mom apologized. I just laughed and said it was fine. The kids continued and asked me how I got so tall. I wasn't sure how to respond, but I finally said. "I drank lots milk and I never smoked." Cute kids!
 
A Confused Mom
This is an actual event that took place when my daughter was about 4 yrs. old. She couldn't talk plain and her sentences were usually backwards. This is so funny -
She had been constipated for about a week, so I went to the store to purchase her a laxative.
Also at the same time she had a loose tooth which was hanging only by a thread and she WOULD NOT allow me to pull it!
The weekend was upon us so she went to her Grandma's. Late on Sunday afternoon she called me very excited and said “....Mom, Mom my tooth came out!”
I was so excited and said "Well, did you save it?"
She said “NO, Mom!”
So I said “Well, honey, go get it and wrap it up and we will tuck it under your pillow.”
And again she said "NO, MOM!"
and again I said “.......yes.... go get it and bring it home and the tooth fairy will give you some money.”
She said “NO MOM, NO MOM!” and I said “Why not?”
Then finally as plain as she could speak she yelled over the phone, "Mom, I said my poop came out!” I was hysterical, because I’d kept telling her to get it and bring it home.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Friday Funny: Male Influence

Dear Ones,

I don't know how your week's been, but if you miss the male influence in your life and could use a good laugh today, let's take a break and get a giggle out of these guys. Just click on this link and start the video:

3 Israeli Police Officers Have a Blast Lip Syncing to ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight!’

If there's a funny thing your husband used to do that you'd like to share please post it in the comment box today. I always love to hear your stories! ferree

 

Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday Fun: Need A "Sweet" Birthday Card?

Image for Chocolate Candy BarHere's a fun and cute idea for a birthday card. It's an oldie but a goodie! Here's what you need:
Magic marker
Posterboard
Tape
The following candy bars, if you can't find them all just improvise:
  • Whatchamacallit
  • 100 Grand
  • Butterfinger
  • Payday
  • KitKat
  • Milky Way
  • 5th Avenue
  • Mounds
  • Almond Joy
  • Chunky
  • Hersheys Kisses
  • Snickers
Take a thick marker and copy the paragraph below onto posterboard with a thick marker leaving a space where each candy bar should go. Then tape the candy bars in those spaces. This is a greeting card and gift in one! Have fun with it! ♥ 

Dear Whatchamacallit,

I was going to give you 100 Grand for your birtday, but my money slipped through my
Butterfinger and it isn't Payday.
I didn't think a pet KitKat or a trip to the Milky Way would be appropriate.
I even shopped all over 5th Avenue! But I couldn't find anything as sweet as this.
I want to wish you Mounds of Almond Joy as you celebrate another year.
You're the best, so eat this card with my best wishes and I hope it doesn't make you Chunky!

Love and Kisses,
(your signature)

P.S. I promise not to Snickers at your age.

Friday, December 26, 2014

" Preserve" Your Blessings & Memories for 2015

Do you preserves fruits and vegetables, jams and jellies? We can preserve all sorts of foods, but why not preserve the blessings too? Use this “Blessing Jar” to count your blessings in the new year. It’s so easy. Starting January 1st, write down any good thing that happens to you or your family on small Post-its or scraps of paper. Write whenever they happen, it doesn’t have to be every day, or sometimes it might be several times a day! Write just enough to jog your memory: you only need a few words and a few seconds of time. Fold them up and “preserve” them in your Blessing Jar.

* surprise gifts
* accomplished goals
* the beauty of nature
* "LOL" moments
* memories to save
* daily blessings!

Then choose a holiday at the end of 2015 —like Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Eve. Open your jar and see what the Lord did for you throughout the year! Continue this habit and soon you’ll have a jar for each year.
 

This is my 2014 Blessing Jar. All I used was an old jelly jar
and a few sheets of paper cut into small squares about 1.5 x
1.5 inches. I kept mine on the windowsill by my kitchen sink
so it was easy to remember to jot stuff down.
I fixed up some Blessing Jars for my Sunday School class last
week. Here are the "ingredients:"
* mason jar and lid
* a small 4-pack of Post-Its from Walmart for about $1.00
* a pen
* a "recipe card" on which I copied and pasted
 the text in blue ink above
 
Put the Post-It's, pen and card into the jar, add the lid
and a bow, and a label.

I made the labels on my printerwith Avery 22804 labels. There's a template at their
website, and if I can do it, anyone can. :)

It was so easy to make a dozen of these to take to my class.
I hope they enjoy them this year, and I hope you will like
making your own and maybe sharing them with your widow
group or Sunday School class or Bible study group too.


Friday, December 19, 2014

Friday Fun: How To Wrap A Cat For Christmas

It's Friday, and as always, a time to take a deep breath, be thankful the week is done, and get ready to relax and lighten your load. With that in mind, I think you'll get a little grin out of this video. In the meantime, I need to get out my wrapping paper, scissors, and tape. Here, kitty kitty kitty... Where'd I put the bow?  
ferree

(As always, if this post arrives in your email inbox and the video or link isn't showing up, or you’d like to add a comment, simply click on the title line at the top of this page to get to the WCP blog itself so you can view it. Thanks!)


Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday Fun: Lego -Tobymac- Christmas This Year

It's Friday, time for some fun. And yes, widows are allowed to smile. Or even dance a bit, play with Legos, and rejoice deep down in our heart that unto us a Saviour was born.
ferree




(As always, if this post arrives in your email inbox and the video or link isn't showing up, or you’d like to add a comment, simply click on the title line at the top of this page to get to the WCP blog itself so you can view it. Thanks!)

Friday, September 5, 2014

Friday Fun: Arrested for Reading?

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
This picture is from my boat, and now I'll know what
to say if I ever get caught reading in a restricted area! :)
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, thinking, "Isn't that obvious?"

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think!

Hope this gave you a giggle, and that you have some fun today and find a good book to read. Why not add the title to one of your favorites in the comment line below? We'd all love to hear your favorite fiction!
ferree

Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday Fun Stuff: Fellowship!

"You met on the Internet?" I remember my dad screeching when I first told him about meeting my husband Tom in my second year of widowhood. But that was-- goodness! 13 years ago! --it's more common today, and now I get to meet some of my widow Internet friends too.

Recently, Myra and Jan came for the weekend! I have two guestrooms so there was one for each of them. We had such a great time---morning coffee out on the porch, listening to the birds in the woods that surround my house, watching the hummingbirds at the feeder, antiquing all afternoon ... Jan's goal for the weekend was to walk, eat, and talk and we accomplished it! Plus wonderful worship and Bible teaching at church on Sunday morning.

Today Teri is coming over! I love having visitors! Plus she's going to help me figure out what to do for a window treatment in my kitchen. I've gotten some estimates, but I'm not willing to part with $600 for it! I met Teri for lunch last week and found out she's had her own cottage business of fabric and upholstery services--- see, this is part of what women can do for each other! She's got the know-how and I've got the sewing machine.

We need each other. One person can't do it all. Aren't God's ways good-- that He put us in churches and fellowships so we could meet each other's needs? 

ferree


Myra, Me and Jan

Me and Teri

Friday, August 22, 2014

Friday Fun: August Is Full of Surprises!

Life is full of surprises too, isn't it? And if you're like most people here, you've discovered they're not all happy surprises. In the early days of grief, the rest of the world might look like it's spinning away on a crazy merry-go-round, while you're trying to get back up from the sucker punch of grief. Or maybe the "dog days" of summer have you dragging more than usual? I could feel them yesterday! I was tired to the bone!

On those kind of days, we need to be our own best friend and do something good for ourself. I intended to do that with a new haircut and color. But, the results are doubtful! Oh well, it'll grow out, right? And I'm NOT posting a new picture! The one of me in the truck is as good as it gets, lol. I go back on Wednesday for some extra highlights.

Since the beauty shop didn't really give me anything to be happy about I kept looking. I wanted a little treat to look forward to. That's what we need during the dog days of summer right? (Click the link if you, like my hairdresser, never heard of dog days). In my efforts to pick myself up I discovered that August holds far more than Dog Days!

I've already missed National Ice Cream Sandwich Day (August 2),
National Watermelon Day (August 3),
National Leave A Zucchini On Your Neighbor's Porch Day (August 8),
and National Polka Day, National Lazy Day and National S'mores Day. I have a lot of catching up to do, but I think I'll save my energy for a big pig-out on National Banana Split Day, August 25!

Have some fun today and decide which days you should call for a treat. Find the silly celebrations at National Day Calendar. All sorts of websites will tell you these little-known, but oh-so-deserving national days, however this one looked like the best to me.

What "national holiday" are you looking forward to? Click and tell it into the comment box for us all, ok?

Thank goodness it's Friday!
ferree

Friday, August 8, 2014

Friday Fun: Your Vote Counts!

Hi Everyone,

It's OK to step back from the grief and take time out for a grin and a giggle every now and then, and I use Fridays as a reminder to do that. TGIF, right? (Thank goodness it's Friday!)

Just so you know that everything you tell me is very important, I want to showcase a comment made on Tuesday by my dear friend "Swans" as I call her here in blogland. I mentioned my messy desk and she said,
I vote that we get to see a picture of what your desktop looks like on this Friday's Fun Post! :D
So today in hopes of just being real and giving you either a laugh or some sympathy for my dubious housekeeping skills, let me give you a tour of the little place where the WCP begins each morning.

One of the blessings of moving to South Carolina was that the house we found happened to have a  FROG room--Finished Room Over the Garage.

Let's take a little tour of the frog, ok?
First, climb the stairs with me,
and turn on the AC wall unit (unseen on the left)
'cuz it gets really hot and stuffy up here!
I love the window, don't you? I had to close the blinds
for the photo, but otherwise they're always open
so I can see the treetops. It feels like a
treehouse and I love it! Someday I hope to paint the
walls blue to match the sky.
My computer screen is the black square
right behind the old 1980's sofa.
The old white jelly cabinet next to the window holds
Postcards From The Widows Path and a bunch of
shipping supplies. Yep, I do it all myself. :)
Please don't order a 1000 copies today, lol, but orders of 1 - 25
are entirely manageable.


Now you are IN the frog! As you can see, I'm not
kidding when I say I still have some unpacking
and organizing to do. This room is pretty much a catch-all.
Tom has a laptop in front of the tv downstairs, but
he also wanted his own office space.
My desk is behind the sofa,
and his is behind the loveseat.
He uses the little desk that used to be my dad's
for his other computer.
It's sweet when we're both up here pecking away on our
keyboards. But he works such long hours that I try
to spend the time with him when he's home. Not
that I don't love you, but you know...

And here's the infamous messy desk! It's not too bad this day
compared to other days! At least you can see the top, right?
And you'll see that I use/need a lot of post-its;
I'm a failure at closing cabinet doors
(in the kitchen too); and I use green painter tape to label
drawers and stuff. It works for me...

Thanks for visiting today and I hope you enjoyed your "tour." And remember, with me, Your Vote Counts!
ferree




Friday, July 11, 2014

Friday Funny: Somebody's Watching

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued....

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

Friday, June 6, 2014

Friday Fun: Where Will You Go This Summer?

Do you plan to travel this summer? That first trip alone was a huge challenge for me, as it is for many other widows. But I thought this was a cute and clever little piece, and I hope it brings a smile to you today. ferree
Oh, The Places We Go!

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go there alone--you have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and co-workers.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on straining myself.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!

Where are you today?

Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday Fun: Don't Forget the Cat When Spring Cleaning


How to Bathe A Cat
  1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
  2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet. Lift both lids.
  3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any body parts too close to the edge, as his claws will be reaching out for anything they can find.
  5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which is quite effective.
  6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no innocent children between the toilet and the outside.
  7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
  8. The newly-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
A Dog

Author unknown, so don't blame me for this! I love cats, but this rings true and gave me a laugh. Especially "rocket out of the toilet." I hope this brings a smile to your face and brightens your day. Here at the WCP we not only cry together but laugh and share some good times too. 
ferree
 
                                                                                                 
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ruthhb/

Friday, May 23, 2014

Friday Fun: Summertime Questionnaire

Some good advice for widows is "Always give yourself something to look forward to."
So today, with summer almost upon us, here's a fun little survey. I'd love to hear your answers!
Copy and paste some of these to the comment box and we'll all enjoy hearing your answers.
ferree

 What’s the perfect time to wake up on a summer day?

What new movie do you want to see this summer?

What’s your favorite summertime food?

What’s your favorite summertime memory from childhood?

What’s your smelliest (good OR bad) summertime memory?

Are you a camper? What kind of camping do you like best?

Your top vacation ever:

How many mosquito bites will you get this summer?

Is your tan for real, or shall we say “enhanced?”

Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday Fun: Crazee Test Today

"I heard myself laugh the other day," she said.
"Has anyone else forgotten what that sounds like?"

Even widows need a laugh . . . and they're allowed!                                                               
This little test today might help kick start a little laugh for you today. Take your time and see if you can read each line below out loud without making a mistake.
(They tell me the average person over 40 years of age can't do it!)
 
 
  1. This is this cat
  2. This is is cat
  3. This is how cat
  4. This is to cat
  5. This is keep cat
  6. This is an cat
  7. This is old cat
  8. This is person cat
  9. This is busy cat
  10. This is for cat
  11. This is forty cat
  12. This is seconds cat



  13. Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.
    Smile and pass it on.

    Have some fun today,
    ferree

Friday, May 9, 2014

Friday Fun: Kidding With Kids

Fun? Widows can have fun? I could cite all the psychological studies that prove the benefit of laughter, but why not cite the best? A cheerful heart is good medicine . . . Prov. 17:22

So here's permission to laugh, a touch of grief relief, and a bit of hope for the day you can laugh freely again. To start, begin collecting cute riddles, jokes and one-liners to use with the kids in your life. Or learn some of those games on your phone---at least try Angry Birds or some freebies.

My favorite line when I first meet a kindergartner or first grader is, "Are you married yet?" The look on their face---from puzzlement, to dawning that it's a joke, to a giggling fit is priceless---or sometimes they're totally serious---and it's a fun way to get to know them and who they've proposed to, or who's already broken their heart...
 
Or how about some riddles to test them with? Here's a few for starters, taken from The 365-Day Clean Joke Book, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. and copied here with permission.

The more you take away the bigger it gets--what is it?
A hole.

What do you get when you mix poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.

Which letter of the alphabet is an island?
T--you find it in the middle of 'water.'

In what country can fish survive out of water?
Finland.

What can you hold without touching it?
Your breath.

Don't groan until you try them!

Do you have some favorite jokes or riddles? Maybe some that your husband always used? Share them in the comment box today, and have a fun Friday. You're allowed!
ferree

Friday, May 2, 2014

10 Things to Learn From Kids

It's Friday--time for a grin--because a merry heart is like good medicine. So here are ten  things we can learn from our little ones. Enjoy this old email attributed to an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING!)
Photo credit: "Franci The Mad Jumper,"

A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house four inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades they can ignite.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor isn't strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

You should not throw baseballs up to the ceiling when the ceiling fan is on.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long ways.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh"--it's already too late.

A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

The Austin, TX fire dept. has a remarkable response time!

Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.


May you be spared from the Uh-ohs, baseballs and burning dust bunnies today!  
ferree






Friday, April 11, 2014

Friday Fun: The Egg Hunt

Uh-oh it's Friday, and I know it's a little early for Easter, but you've caught me in a silly spell. What will you do to have fun today? Even in mourning, "A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22


The nice thing about being so forgetful is that you can hide your own Easter eggs.
(author unknown)